It indicates possession or omission....

Having been given a swanky Sony Ericcson Xperia for my 55th by my beloved significant other, I am now faced with the issues that fox anyone of a certain age who takes on some new technological gadget. My support network has been consulted and they are all advising me to ask Dr F, a fellow blogger, much admired for his intellectual and academic prowess, not to mention his excellent choice of wife, the multi-talented Mrs F, whose employers simply don't understand what a gem they have in their midst...but then Bradford Council isn't renowned for appreciating its hot talent, is it?!

While I await with eager anticipation, Dr F's advice over my issues with my browser, it occurs to me that mobile phones could be responsible for the decline in the use of that wonderful English tool - the apostrophe. As technology advances, it appears to be more and more awkward to use one on a keyboard or touchscreen. This leaves me a little irritated - in fact, I'm incandescent with rage, but that could be the result of 2 early morning coffees....

A couple of my offspring  never mastered the apostrophe, although both have been through Higher Education. What is going on? I agree with Mr Fry's view that language has to adapt and change according to need and irksome Australian influence, and am even prepared to make every attempt to understand text speak, but I will NOT stop using the apostrophe, no matter how long it takes me to type a text. Some standards have to be maintained! My senior offspring, (who is himself a father twice over), and I pride ourselves on grammatically correct text messages, much to the amusement of other members of the family. I will thus resolve to ensure that my grandchildren are all introduced to the joys of using ' as soon as they are ready as part of my grandparental responsibilities. Should I start a Facebook group? "Save the English Apostrophe" ?

http://www.apostrophe.org.uk/

A Good Innings

As 55 approaches, I feel the need to reflect on what has been a colourful and indeed eventful innings. A couple of people have said to me recently that I'd lived a very "full" life. Well, yes, I've certainly packed plenty into it so far, and although the catastrophes have been on a mega scale, the highs have been equally brilliant. I've been lucky.
Whenever I've been at my lowest, someone has been there for me - and we can't really ask for more than that. I once had the privilege to work with a lady from Wigan, Doris Baxter. She told me three things I've always remembered:

• That Fate only dishes out to us sh*t that we have the capacity to cope with.
• That if you get ideas above your station, and try to impress those who know you're blagging, you'll stand out like "Liver on a Cake Stand", and
• That magnolia-painted woodchip wallpaper looks like someone's hurled rice pudding at the wall and not washed it off properly.

There's a lot of truth in each tenet - thank you, Doris - I'll never forget you.